Once again, a menacing winter storm threatens North Carolina. Up to an inch of snow! The local weather folks are beside themselves. But I will boldly trudge onward for family and America, like my heroes in The Day After Tomorrow. But enough of that. Every Friday, writers from all around the world write 100 word (or thereabouts) flash fiction based on a photo posted that Wednesday on Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ blog.
Here’s my story this week. I welcome constructive criticism; without it I cannot grow as a writer.
The girl tripped against the bottle lying half buried in the tide smoothed sand. The label was almost gone – she could barely make out “Charles Shaw” – but something rattled inside when she picked it up. She pulled the cork and shook it upside down, then shrugged and smashed it against the dock. She lifted the worn roll of paper from the green shards, unrolled it, read it.
“I hope someone finds this. It means someone made it through. Someone survived.”
She crumpled the moist paper in her fist, squeezing till a few salty drops ran through her fingers.
Now I’m curious….what does the rest of the letter say?! Hope you guys avoid the snowpocolypse.
That was an eerie and scary twist. Wonder if it brought any solace to the lonely girl.
A nice post-apocalyptic response, framed in idyllic surroundings. Good one.
“Charles Shaw”–maybe the writer was at Trader Joe’s when the apocalypse came.
And speaking of the apocalypse, I hope you survived the blizzard. 
Ahh, the amount of snow it takes to make a blizzard and hazardous conditions is, as are many other things, all relative.
janet
P.S. Just one item– “tide-smoothed” needs a hyphen and the upside is you have another word with which to play if you so desire which, in 100-word stories, can be a jewel almost beyond price.
i was gonna say that.
Oops, sorry, what I meant was “she crumpled the paper in her fist without noticing [that she was crumpling it in her fist]” How can I make that clearer? I suppose I could take “without noticing” out?
how about “without realizing”?
good call – changing now
glad to help.
Another apocalypse beach story. I love it! Everyone here has such vibrant imaginations. I thought for sure that I’d be wading through endless love stories but man, was I ever wrong. I want to see more of this one. I can’t help but to be curious who the girl is and what she (and the world) has gone through.
ahh, so what did they make it through? something apocalyptic? interesting piece. well done.
but i’m confused here – She crumpled the moist paper in her fist without noticing,
without noticing what? she may not be aware of what happened to other people.
I read over a few times. I read the comments. though the written is descriptive and gives a hint that there was some kind of catastrophe. There’s something missing to bring home.
It seems that the someone who made it through isn’t happy about something … it’s all in that fist.
Perhaps because she survived? That’s what I was thinking. It reminded her of everything she’s lost.
Ah! That makes sense. There are always so many possible back stories in 100 word fiction!
why charles shaw?
good story, Two Buck Chuck the witness of the apocalypse!
This was a stellar take on the prompt, Danny. I really want to know more. Good job!
One nit-pick. Shouldn’t it be tripped over then bottle? Tripped against feels a tad clumsy.
Hi Danny,
A message in a bottle story was an option I almost went with. Your story has all the good things about it I was thinking would be there. Ron
I like the message, your take on someone left on earth, rather than someone left behind on a deserted island.
Are you still whining about the snow? At least it’s not slowing your writing down. Love ‘message in a bottle’ stories… not sure what to make of yours. I’m thinking she’s the last one left. Good one.
I would love to read more of this. Terrific!
great story
An interesting take on the prompt – I wouldn’t have thought to use it for an apocalyptic theme. Scary to think of being the last person left after armageddon…
I got the feeling that the letter writer’s concern that anyone may not be left was not necessarily a concern she had shared, which added to the intrigue.
What was the Charles Shaw part? Part of the label on the bottle?
I liked this a lot.
Splojo
Charles Shaw (or more commonly “Three Buck Chuck”) is a cheap wine that’s sold at Trader Joe’s. It’s actually not bad.
So many questions generated with the 100 words means it would be a god nebulous for a larger story. I hope you will find the intrest to build it out.
Intriguing! Is “Charles Shaw” significant? I would expect it to be the brand of liquor that used to be in the bottle – does it mean something else? Is the girl the one and only survivor, maybe trapped on a desert island? So many questions, but you set up a good start for a longer story – I want to know more!
Charles Shaw is more commonly called “3 Buck Chuck.” It’s a cheap brand of wine. I used it as a sort of inside joke.