Soon it will be time to hit the treadmill and watch some original star trek while trying to convince my body that I can make it just…one…more…mile. But not yet! Every Friday, writers from all around the world write 100 word (or thereabouts) flash fiction based on a photo posted that Wednesday on Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ blog.
Here’s my story this week. I welcome constructive criticism; without it I cannot grow as a writer.
Totem
I checked my watch. An hour and a half late and we hadn’t even taken off. Ninety minutes of one sided conversation. I sighed and closed my eyes, hoping he’d get the hint.
“In fact,” he continued, “certain cultures thought inanimate objects were imbued with spiritual energy.”
The engines changed pitch. I opened my eyes.
“As if they were alive,” he said.
We started rolling forward. Soon buildings and runway stripes were flickering by. The turbines grabbed the air and pulled, the Earth lost its grip on us, and we leaped into the clear blue ocean of air.
You boldly went where no one had gone before–or at least this week.
Surprise! Lost grip on the sky too.
Dear Danny,
Your last line threw me and I will confess to confusion. Is the ‘clear blue ocean’ meant to describe the sky? Are they on a submarine? I was and we had a turbine, but the whole runway bit had me on a takeoff roll. I will observe further comments and see.
Aloha,
Doug
I meant the sky, but I was definitely worried that people would think it was the literal ocean. Sorry about that! I made things a little bit clearer now (I hope).
If this were a crash, i guess you deserve it at least to keep him shut for a while.
Don’t you hate it when you get sat next to that one person? I do. Just leave me alone and let me read my damn book! Well told, as usual
I liked this. I swear I felt the plane lift off. There was no crash. Only air.
I always look forward to chatting with the person beside me. So far I have always had a person that is interesting and not annoying. If it was like you described i suppose it could be totally annoying.
I agree with you, although my friends have complained about being stuck with annoyingly chatty neighbors.
Hi Danny — I can pretend to sleep longer than they can talk. You may not make that mile, but you can always take one more step!
“The turbines grabbed the air and pulled”–nice image.
A perfect description of this bored guy just wanting to get to his destination in peace and then finding that peace in the thrill of this machine coming to life and soaring into the heavens. The annoying neighbor gets lost in the grander experience. I love, love, love your image of “leaping into the clear blue ocean.”
Thank you!
The plane became a a creature of flight. Taking off and letting the cares of the world fall away. Too bad about the chatter box. With any luck he’ll doze off or go horse and be forced to let the bird continue it’s journey skyward in silence.
Dear Danny,
Headphones might be a good hint. My last flight I had the misfortune of sitting by a young mother with an infant and a two year old. She seemed to be under the impression that the child was hard of hearing. I’m certainly not..;)
Good story this week, sir. I felt your MC’s frustration .
Shalom,
Rochelle
I took this to mean the guy next to him was going to BORE him with frivilous details during his flight. Nice job.
Oh, some people can’t take a hint. Sometimes you want to chat with someone and sometimes you won’t. I never travel without noise cancellation headphones, that usually does the trick once you reached cruising altitude.
i’m assuming you were connecting the plane and its movements to the quote about inanimate objects being alive. great comparison. well done.
Thank you, I’m glad you caught that. Airplanes always have seemed animate to me.
glad to help.
I love that last paragraph.
And the monologue guy is determined!