The Hidden Song #Friday Fictioneers

This week’s Friday Fictioneers was water dripping from a rock.  I think growing up in the American Southwest definitely played into how I interpreted the picture.  As always, comments and criticisms are welcome.  Tell me what I did well…and tell me when I missed the mark.  And thank you!  The picture and story are below.

The Hidden Song

“I am the voice in the desert.
“I am the song of the evening.”
She uncorked the gourd, set it under the rock.
Tap. Tap. Tap. Drop by drop. She sat back and watched the dry rivers like veins filling the hollows with shadow and the last light washing the dunes in penciled gold.  And then the shadows gathered, pooled, rose; the light faded and the first braid of water coiled down the side of the gourd.
She plugged it with rawhide, rose to her feet.
“I am the smoky dawn
“I am the morning star.”

Advertisements

About glossarch

The word "glossarch" doesn't exist. At least, not yet. But let's pretend it does for a second. The first part is "gloss," a word that comes to us from Ancient Greek via Latin and English. It means "language." The second part also comes from Ancient Greek and can mean "having power over." So "glossarch" means simply "language controller." So what am I doing making up words? Well, I made up an entire language once. It's called Angosey. So I'm the Glossarch of Angosey. I'm currently a doctorate student in volcano seismology (a branch of geophysics). I enjoy writing fiction and poetry, launching balloons, programming, and hanging out with my lovely wife! Follow me on Twitter! Writing and language creation: @glossarch Balloons and science: @bovineaerospace
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to The Hidden Song #Friday Fictioneers

  1. Awesomely poetic, Danny. Loved the “braid of water”. I don’t think I’ve heard that before, yet it works wonderfully. Thanks for sharing!
    http://the-drabbler.com/splat/

  2. I get the feeling that the words of the character are lyrics of a ritualistic song, that she trying to summon rain. It’s definitely interesting.

    I love the middle description of the setting, the prettiness of it at least. But I could be wrong about the contents of the story…

    http://littlewonder2.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/friday-fictioneers-bats/

  3. Very beautifully portrayed. It brings to mine a Navajo “Sing or Way”

  4. Lora Mitchell says:

    A lovely lyrical piece from a poetic soul named Danny. .I loved many lines but especially …”the last light washing the dunes in penciled gold” and “braid of water”…Do I depict a Native Spirit’s voice here? Looking forward to more wondrous, original, poetic lines in future postings. Here’s mine:
    http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

  5. sphrbn says:

    Poetic, and brilliant usage of words. I read it over dozens of times.

  6. sacha1nch1 says:

    that gourd definitely seems to be inextricably linked to the land surveyed by its owner…or maybe she’s merely its courier

    grew on me nicely this one

  7. erinleary says:

    I like this – it does speak to the rawness the picture conjures up for me – I think you capture the essence of it well.

    Mine, late as it is, is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/04/21/flash-friday-fiction-8/

  8. So poetic, with words nicely woven together to create or convey a feeling of a ritual. Reminds me of rainmakers in my country. Thank you for the hop-over.

    Here is mine, anyway: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/fridayfictioneers-diamond-tear-drops/

  9. jeanelaine says:

    Loved this, very poetic. Yes I see we were on the same wave length.

  10. Sonia Lal says:

    Poetic and very pretty!

  11. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Danny,

    This was good. Very good. Almost as good as the taste of that water after a long day in the desert. It flows sweetly from the paper into the mind of the reader, filling them with peace and the vision you describe. Well done, sir.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/the-endless-sea/

  12. kbnelson says:

    I really appreciate when an author uses a title that adds and enhances the story. Yours was exactly that – great job!

  13. elmowrites says:

    I’m not sure I can add anything to the other comments – you depict the life-giving and thirt quenching nature of the water for both character and land beautifully and the song lyrics bookend the story well. I loved the descriptive lines others have already picked out too.
    nice one!
    I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/friday-fiction-maturity/

  14. Madison Woods says:

    I loved the way it is written simply, it even appears on the page in a simple pattern. Yet the words themselves tell a very deep story. Very nice.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s