Intelligent Design #Friday Fictioneers

This week’s Friday Fictioneers was a little tough.  All I knew before sitting down to hash out my weekly 100 words was that my story would involve someone named Roy and fences in inconvenient places.  But I think it turned out alright.  As always, constructive criticism is encouraged!

Here’s the photo prompt, story is below:

Intelligent Design

Roy set his stained cowboy hat on his knee and squinted at the setting sun. “That last hill was a bitch.”

“Yep, you said it,” I replied, and winced as sweat stung my eye. “Whose damn idea was it to run the fence right across the canyon?”

“Lost to time,” he said, and tossed me a Bud. “Alls I know is, we replace the bastard every year and every year he falls down again.”

I opened the can with a crisp crack. “The fence should follow the river.”

He sighed. “You say that every year.”

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About glossarch

The word "glossarch" doesn't exist. At least, not yet. But let's pretend it does for a second. The first part is "gloss," a word that comes to us from Ancient Greek via Latin and English. It means "language." The second part also comes from Ancient Greek and can mean "having power over." So "glossarch" means simply "language controller." So what am I doing making up words? Well, I made up an entire language once. It's called Angosey. So I'm the Glossarch of Angosey. I'm currently a doctorate student in volcano seismology (a branch of geophysics). I enjoy writing fiction and poetry, launching balloons, programming, and hanging out with my lovely wife! Follow me on Twitter! Writing and language creation: @glossarch Balloons and science: @bovineaerospace
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17 Responses to Intelligent Design #Friday Fictioneers

  1. sphrbn says:

    Sounds like a western, cool story.

  2. Sandra says:

    Time someone did something about that fence. A lot of detail in this piece that sets the scene beautifully. Well done.

  3. I like the steady rhythm of this piece, which captures the ranch hand sentiment so perfectly. A lot of us have lived either out on the range or near enough, or just watched too many naturalistic cowboy movies – and the barbed wire brought back the old west – and the new west and the always west – cause we do have to keep stringing that wire….
    Laura
    http://fictionvictimtoo.blogspot.com

  4. elmowrites says:

    You create a vivid picture of the world Roy lives in, nicely done! I love the twist at the end, that these old boys have had exactly the same conversation every year.
    I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/friday-fiction-soul-memories/

  5. Lora Mitchell says:

    A pleasant, smooth, easy conversation between two old friends. I have a feeling they’ve been pals for so long, they probably answer each other’s sentences as well. Nice light-hearted take on the prompt. Here’s mine: (another light one)
    http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

  6. Madison Woods says:

    I liked that. It had an authentic feel and your dialogue feels natural. I wonder why they don’t reroute the fence, too, lol.

  7. Mike says:

    I loved the way the conversation flowed between these two characters. It captured a brief moment of their hard working day.

    Here’s mine:
    http://mjshorts.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/the-frightened-mob-a-100-word-story/

  8. pinionpost says:

    The scene comes off so naturally, as if it was effortless to write (which of course means it was anything but) — great job. You even do a good job of setting up the characters in our minds, which isn’t easy in 100 words.

  9. Atiya says:

    This reminds me of that guy who has to carry a boulder uphill only to have it roll back down right when he’s near the top. Never ending, tedious, torturous even. I’ve never lived anywhere near a ranch but I’m sure task like this are a dime a dozen. I love the picture you painted with your words. It was a great share.

  10. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Danny,

    Best line in the story is, “Lost to time.” It really sells the piece by giving it a ring of authenticity. I can taste the beer and feel the sweat running down my back. Great use of the prompt and makes me glad I’m not in construction any more.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  11. Great scene setting and descriptive characters. I enjoy the Western slant that it had. Well done!

    Mine: http://www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html

  12. tedstrutz says:

    Nice piece… like the last line… didn’t expect that.

  13. KCBB says:

    Sounds good, except I have never heard any ranch type person ever say “right old bitch” — just bitch will do fine.

  14. Although I kept expecting more to happen, this captured a nice moment ofshared frustration and the atmosphere of the canyon was nicely expressed, too.

    My entry is over here: http://joannakneilson.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/flash-fiction-friday-wire-pilgrimage/

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