I light an American Spirit and lean on the fence, tapping the first ash into the weeds. My sun-browned arm, dust mixed with water set in motion for the allotted time, brings the cigarette back to my lips.
The house looks good. Needs a little plaster but the walls are sound. Can’t say why I care much anyway, it’s just mortar and adobe bricks stacked up in place for a few decades or so. I think for a moment. The price of dust, figuratively speaking, is around thirty pieces of silver. A done deal – no returns accepted.
———-
I return after a week’s absence! Superlative apologies for not being around last week – I was flying instruments on balloons over explosions meant to simulate volcanoes. Has life ever been this good? Anyway…Every Friday, writers from all around the world write 100 word (or thereabouts) flash fiction based on a photo posted that Wednesday on Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ blog.
I welcome constructive criticism; without it I cannot grow as a writer. The weekly photo that inspired this story is below:
glossarch 
30 pieces of silver
Thirty pieces of silver and dust…over the top? On May 16, 2013 9:21 PM, “Karen Bailey-Bowman” wrote:
> 30 pieces of silver >
Dear Danny,
I got hot and sweaty just reading. Nicely written and vivid.
However, one bit of crit you might want to consider. “My sun browned arm…brings…” It feels as if the arm is acting on its own accord…disembodied, if you will. Wouldn’t you hold the cigarette between your fingers? Anyway, the line kind of took me out of the story as a whole.
shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you for the criticism. I’ll keep an eye out for those sort of jarring sentences in the future.
Glad to have you back, Danny. I enjoyed the story, but had trouble with the same line Rochelle mentioned above. Part of it is the way it’s written and part of it is that it’s such a long sentence that I took me away from the story line.
janet
Sounds intriguing, “Thirty pieces of silver”… such a great metaphor…..
Nice read, the end was really good…
‘.. the price of dust …’ lovely. I really like his nonchalance.
We really get into the mind of a character in such a short space…”can’t say I care…” and I like the “price of dust.” Great one!
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