The sky went dark all at once, as if someone had thrown a blanket over the sun. That’s what it was like.
The mountain was gone – a burning cloud stitched with lightning had replaced it.
I remember the sliding door slamming shut behind us as my boots hit the dirt.
We stayed first world for a while.
But soon, we were just another clot of coughing grey ghosts, slurping muddy water from half empty nalgenes, staring ahead through dust rimmed eyes at rows of abandoned vehicles veiled behind curtains of trickling sand. That’s what it was like.
———-
Something about staring at slow motion videos of simulated volcanic explosions all day must have influenced my Friday Fictioneers story this week! Anyway…Every Friday, writers from all around the world write 100 word (or thereabouts) flash fiction based on a photo posted that Wednesday on Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ blog.
I welcome constructive criticism; without it I cannot grow as a writer. The weekly photo that inspired this story is below:
They didn’t make it. That’s what it was like. lol 🙂
But then who wrote the story 🙂
Some serious Sci fi here. Delighted that the grey ghosts still had the ability to write about it.
Had to look up nalgene! Thought it was one of yours.
Don’t worry, I (usually) resist the temptation to put my language in my flash fiction. Thanks for stopping by!
I could literally feel the dust in my eyes. Nicely done!
Not a pleasant feeling! But the worst is looking in the mirror and seeing ash coating your teeth.
Really good, Danny.
janet
Thank you!
Good one! I especially liked “as if someone had thrown a blanket over the sun”. Reading this made my throat dry and my eyes water. So you spend your days looking at volcanic eruptions in slow motion? Well, I guess someone’s got to do it … 🙂
Thanks! I spend some of my time doing that. You can too! Here’s one of the explosions I’ve been watching: http://www.nature.com/news/experimental-volcanoes-make-a-blast-1.12970
Fascinating!
This is really poignant, full of rich description esp. liked ‘…a burning cloud stitched with lightning.’ Great writing.
Thank you. I originally said ‘laced’ but that’s somewhat commonplace…glad you liked my alternative!
Dear Danny,
You had me looking up “nalgene”. So I happily broadened a corner of my narrow horizon. Thank you. Very well written. You created the atmosphere with style.
shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you! I recommend nalgenes, they’re virtually indestructible (I would know). Always a pleasure to read your stories too.