Palette #Friday Fictioneers

“Hey, is that what I think it is?” I ask.
“What?”
“A ballerina, there on the other side of the street.”
You shield your eyes and squint into the sun.  Your ponytail bobs.
“Nope. Just some guy in a green shirt,” you say.
“Oh.”
We don’t talk for a while – just keep walking.
“It’s happening again, isn’t it?” you ask.
“Yeah.”
You smile up at me and squeeze my hand.
“Worlds running together like paint?  Disquiet slicked over everything?”
“That’s they way it is these days.”
You glance up and wink.  “Kill yourself?”
“Not just yet.”

———-

My wife asks why everything I write is dark.  What can I say?  Life makes about as much sense as the results of searching for “why do you have to write about dark things” on Youtube.  Anyway…Every Friday, writers from all around the world write 100 word (or thereabouts) flash fiction based on a photo posted that Wednesday on Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ blog.

I welcome constructive criticism; without it I cannot grow as a writer.  The weekly photo that inspired this story is below:

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About glossarch

The word "glossarch" doesn't exist. At least, not yet. But let's pretend it does for a second. The first part is "gloss," a word that comes to us from Ancient Greek via Latin and English. It means "language." The second part also comes from Ancient Greek and can mean "having power over." So "glossarch" means simply "language controller." So what am I doing making up words? Well, I made up an entire language once. It's called Angosey. So I'm the Glossarch of Angosey. I'm currently a doctorate student in volcano seismology (a branch of geophysics). I enjoy writing fiction and poetry, launching balloons, programming, and hanging out with my lovely wife! Follow me on Twitter! Writing and language creation: @glossarch Balloons and science: @bovineaerospace
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16 Responses to Palette #Friday Fictioneers

  1. This left me with a chill, wanting to know more.Very well crafted.

  2. neenslewy says:

    Oh the ending was a bit of a su.rprise – I am intrigued by the relationship already.
    This description was good;
    Worlds running together like paint? Disquiet slicked over everything?”
    It exposed the dilemma magnificently

  3. Dear Danny,

    Would I be correct in assuming that this person is speaking with a ghost? Or is he delusional? Interesting. The dialogue flows well, however,one word of crit. This sentence: “We didn’t talk for a while – just kept walking.” It’s past tense while the rest of your story is in the present tense.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    • glossarch says:

      Oops! You and Doug both caught a tense error. I’m fixing it now. Thanks for the close reading!
      As for the person he’s talking to – my idea was that the narrator was delusional, and that neither the ballerina nor the conversation is actually real.

  4. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Danny,

    In the spirit of my ham handed, conceited and snobby blog post this week here is my take on your story. (We didn’t talk for a while – just kept walking.) I think that should read, We don’t talk for a while – just keep walking. Tense continuity. Also the word ‘Worlds’ can be read two ways, one that looks as though it needs an apostrophe and one not. Which is it, please?

    The story itself is good and I enjoyed it to the extent that I could give the distractions mentioned above.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  5. “Worlds running together like paint? Disquiet slicked over everything?”
    I love this line, enough to marry it! 🙂 Wonderful, wonderful turn of phrase.

  6. Joe Owens says:

    Half the world is in darkness at any time. of course i mean physical darkness. There are all kinds of darkness that invade everyone’s life.

  7. pattisj says:

    “Not just yet” tells me he still has hope. 🙂

  8. troy P. says:

    What an intriguing take. Filled with depth and cool phrases, I want to know more!

  9. This was eerie… a great dia(mono)logue… and reality leaving. Happy for the twinkle of hope at the end.

  10. Jacey Faye says:

    Oh, I love this! This line in particular is stuck inside my head: “Worlds running together like paint? Disquiet slicked over everything?”

    The dialogue and atmosphere in this piece is fantastic. Thank you for sharing! 🙂

  11. summerstommy2 says:

    I like the story but it leaves me wanting to know more. That is probably a good thing in that you have engaged me and I want answers.

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