Grasping at Straws #Friday Fictioneers

He watched her tear the bread into little morsels and toss them into the water.
A fish opened its mouth wide with a gasping sound.  In slid the first soggy shred.  The fish closed its mouth and fell back into the green depths.  Another arrived.  And another.  In a few moments the water was a writhing mass – slick golden scales sliding past each other, flashes of eyes and pink mouths and glittering jewels of water all churned together into one.
He draped his arm around her waist. She pushed it away, and reached into the grocery bag for another slice.

———-

Today, I was visited by a forest huntress and a wand-wielding hot dog, among others.  It occurs to me that foreigners must sometimes think we’re crazy.  Anyway…Every Friday, writers from all around the world write 100 word (or thereabouts) flash fiction based on a photo posted that Wednesday on Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ blog.

I welcome constructive criticism; without it I cannot grow as a writer.  The weekly photo that inspired this story is below:

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About glossarch

The word "glossarch" doesn't exist. At least, not yet. But let's pretend it does for a second. The first part is "gloss," a word that comes to us from Ancient Greek via Latin and English. It means "language." The second part also comes from Ancient Greek and can mean "having power over." So "glossarch" means simply "language controller." So what am I doing making up words? Well, I made up an entire language once. It's called Angosey. So I'm the Glossarch of Angosey. I'm currently a doctorate student in volcano seismology (a branch of geophysics). I enjoy writing fiction and poetry, launching balloons, programming, and hanging out with my lovely wife! Follow me on Twitter! Writing and language creation: @glossarch Balloons and science: @bovineaerospace
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18 Responses to Grasping at Straws #Friday Fictioneers

  1. Anja says:

    Feel like watching a sad couple in front of me…..lovely piece of writing.

  2. plaridel says:

    i don’t know, but it seems like a father and daughter moment to me.

  3. That was a lovely piece. Yes, all we could do was observe and not know what was in the woman’s mind at all. Actually, it made me think of an autistic child. We want to touch them, comfort them, love them as normal children, but they are intent on their own agenda’s. They don’t want our arms around them. We intrude into their being.

  4. sandraconner says:

    I love the description in this piece! You make us SEE exactly what’s taking place — colors, action, timing all working together — “slick golden scales, flashes of eyes, pink mouths, jewels of water ….” I think if I were her, I’d be eager to continue the feeding — watching the lively response of the fish — feeling a part of that much activity. I guess I got the impression that the guy just didn’t get it. He couldn’t comprehend the thrill of it. He has a lot to learn.

  5. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Danny,

    Great piece of work here. Second fiddle to the fish? Talk about being on the receiving end of nothing. Great descriptions and pacing.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  6. Dear Danny,

    Perhaps she finds the koi more appealing than the man beside her. A sad commentary on their relationship. Nice descriptions and colorful imagery.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  7. Nice story well told. The title made it.

  8. Ooh, definitely some tension between the couple. Spending time at the pond is not a happy moment for them. Very well written. I really enjoy your writing. – Amy

  9. Between ignoring him and pushing him away he needs to get a clue.

  10. CherryPickens says:

    An insightful slice of an intimate moment. I think you’ve left the relationship open for interpretation so that each of us may lay this upon our own lives and take from it as we choose. Nicely done.

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