This week’s Friday Fictioneers was water dripping from a rock. I think growing up in the American Southwest definitely played into how I interpreted the picture. As always, comments and criticisms are welcome. Tell me what I did well…and tell me when I missed the mark. And thank you! The picture and story are below.
The Hidden Song
“I am the voice in the desert.
“I am the song of the evening.”
She uncorked the gourd, set it under the rock.
Tap. Tap. Tap. Drop by drop. She sat back and watched the dry rivers like veins filling the hollows with shadow and the last light washing the dunes in penciled gold. And then the shadows gathered, pooled, rose; the light faded and the first braid of water coiled down the side of the gourd.
She plugged it with rawhide, rose to her feet.
“I am the smoky dawn
“I am the morning star.”
glossarch 
Awesomely poetic, Danny. Loved the “braid of water”. I don’t think I’ve heard that before, yet it works wonderfully. Thanks for sharing!
http://the-drabbler.com/splat/
I get the feeling that the words of the character are lyrics of a ritualistic song, that she trying to summon rain. It’s definitely interesting.
I love the middle description of the setting, the prettiness of it at least. But I could be wrong about the contents of the story…
Very beautifully portrayed. It brings to mine a Navajo “Sing or Way”
Mind……
Here’s mine!
A lovely lyrical piece from a poetic soul named Danny. .I loved many lines but especially …”the last light washing the dunes in penciled gold” and “braid of water”…Do I depict a Native Spirit’s voice here? Looking forward to more wondrous, original, poetic lines in future postings. Here’s mine:
http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com
Poetic, and brilliant usage of words. I read it over dozens of times.
that gourd definitely seems to be inextricably linked to the land surveyed by its owner…or maybe she’s merely its courier
grew on me nicely this one
This really was poetic, and you should be very proud of it. Loved it.
I like this – it does speak to the rawness the picture conjures up for me – I think you capture the essence of it well.
Mine, late as it is, is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/04/21/flash-friday-fiction-8/
So poetic, with words nicely woven together to create or convey a feeling of a ritual. Reminds me of rainmakers in my country. Thank you for the hop-over.
Here is mine, anyway: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/fridayfictioneers-diamond-tear-drops/
Loved this, very poetic. Yes I see we were on the same wave length.
Poetic and very pretty!
Dear Danny,
This was good. Very good. Almost as good as the taste of that water after a long day in the desert. It flows sweetly from the paper into the mind of the reader, filling them with peace and the vision you describe. Well done, sir.
Aloha,
Doug
I really appreciate when an author uses a title that adds and enhances the story. Yours was exactly that – great job!
I’m not sure I can add anything to the other comments – you depict the life-giving and thirt quenching nature of the water for both character and land beautifully and the song lyrics bookend the story well. I loved the descriptive lines others have already picked out too.
nice one!
I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/friday-fiction-maturity/
Nicely Poetic…
http://tedstrutz.com/2012/04/20/flash-friday-fictioneers-drip-drop-drip/
I loved the way it is written simply, it even appears on the page in a simple pattern. Yet the words themselves tell a very deep story. Very nice.